Fathers: Absent or Present?

Today I was standing in the back of the church where I attend and as I looked out at the group of people seated in front of me, I thought about all the fathers out there, and smiled to myself. Then I began to think of all the people I know in that group of people, and beyond, who had absent fathers growing up… in one sense or another: absent physically, emotionally, economically… yet absent, and all that they deal with each day as a result of their father’s absence.

As I stood in front of the kids that I lead on Sunday mornings… it occurred to me how the kids in front of me represented a small cross section of the kids in the world… growing up with or without fathers.

In the past year, more than ever, I have begun to realize the importance of the role of a father in a child’s life. No man is perfect, woman either for that matter… But if we bring children into the world, there comes an opportunity to respond to that child… to love and care for them in the best way we can. My prayer for fathers this year is that they choose to be present with their children, in a way that will allow the children of today to grow up with a foundation of love as opposed to a foundation of fear and pain.

“Living Unloved… Not Something I Want For You..”

I’m reading this book The Shack, by William P. Young. The following section of quotes has spoken to me deeply recently as I think about the handful of people in my life that choose to live without love: Either because they don’t know how to receive it, or they are still struggling to understand it more fully. It makes me sad and makes me want to love each one more unconditionally. I want everyone to be able to fly.

My friend, Alex, just took his own life yesterday. His memory will not quickly fade from my heart. His life will challenge me to love more unconditionally and sit with others unconditionally for the rest of my life. I am so sorry he’s gone. I am sorry that he felt that this was his only choice. I miss him.

Here are some quotes from the book… A conversation between the main character and God…

Mack: “I feel totally lost”…

God: “Then let’s see if we can find you in this mess.”… “Most birds were created to fly. Being grounded for them is a limitation within their ability to fly, not the other way around… You, on the other hand, were created to be loved. So for you to live as if you were unloved is a limitation, not the other way around.”

God: “Living unloved is like clipping a bird’s wings and removing its ability to fly. Not something I want for you.”

God: “Mack, pain has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly… And if left unresolved for very long, you can almost forget that you were ever created to fly in the first place.”

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Me:   I pray that my life can be the kind of sacrifice needed for others to know, to see and to receive the fact that they were created to be loved… and to fly… God, let it be.

Akeelah and the Bee

Okay, enough of the pirate!

I meant to post the following, long ago and am just getting to it now. I saw the movie, Akeelah and the Bee, a few months back and I thought it was great! There was a quote used in the movie that you may have heard or read before, but it was the first time it has come to my attention and I have thought about it many times since. I paused the movie to write down the quote and then did a google search on it!! Here it is… Let me know what you think about what she says…

by Marianne Williamson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Slow, Purposeful Relationships

As I got in my car yesterday to go home after chatting with a few friends; I saw the most beautiful sight. There were some fall leaves on my windshield. Most blew away, but this one, little, perfectly beautiful one… stayed. I sat there and stared at it, waiting for it to blow away, but it didn’t.

I decided to let it stay there and I pulled away on my way home. I kept watching it, as it was right at my eye level, in the middle of my view. I began to think that maybe it would stay, even though I expected it to blow away.

I chose to drive more purposefully, to see how long it would stay. Then I got kind of happy that it might make it home with me. I actually slowed down to drive the speed limit (not my forte) but I now had a reason to slow down. I got home, and the beautiful fall leaf chose to stay with me… amazing, really.

I ran upstairs and got my camera (I finally went digital, Woo Hoo!!) And here it is… the young, beautiful leaf that brought a smile to my face and made me ponder the reason it was there…

It made me process further the importance of slow, purposeful relationships. I have lived all over the place and I personally thrive on change… Because of this, I tend to expect relationships to blow away after a time, instead of stick around. I’m okay with that, because it is what I am used to. But in the past year or so, I have found myself desiring those relationships to stick around.

As I wondered why this leaf, full of beauty and simplicity, captured my interest so intensely for a few moments… I smiled when I realized that God, in all His wonder and tenderness, put it there to woo me into the fact that it’s okay to want relationships to stick around, even if that’s not what I am used to. It’s never too late to learn how. Maybe I need to slow down and drive the speed limit.

Fall is a beautiful thing.

Here it is on the windshield… If you look up in the left-hand corner… there it is!! The close-up (above) is a crazy-cool picture, and here is the full view!! When I got out and took it off the windshield, I realized how lightly it was actually there… no real reason to stay, just the fact that it chose not to blow away.

relationships, beauty, purpose, life

99 Years Young

My Grandpa turned 99 years old today. It kind of amazes me that he has lived his life from a covered wagon to an ipod… Kind of mind boggling if you really think about what he has seen in his lifetime. It is always a pleasure to sit around and hear his stories. He really did travel in a covered wagon when he was a boy. His family went from North Dakota to Canada and other places in a covered wagon. His dad followed the work, wherever it took them.

I talked with him today and he sounds great!! His knee hurts a little bit because he pulled some ligaments two weeks ago when he was up in his Grapefruit tree pruning it as he always does, no matter what anyone advises him not to do… He fell about 8 feet down to the concrete. So he’s icing it a bit, he says… but it’s just a bit sore, not to worry. GRANDPA!!!!

They had plans to go out to dinner with family and friends tonight. We are already planning a party for his 100th next year, I can’t wait.

Happy Birthday Grandpa!!